A family unit of sorts.

Chandler was right.  Years ago when he told me that he believes we all suffer from the grass is always greener on the other side syndrome.  That's not quite how I'm feeling right now, but its certainly the best I know how to describe it.

It's not that I wish I didn't move back to Ferndale. I have never felt more alive, more free, more me, than I do now after moving here. It is my heart's home. In ways I'll never be able to explain. And I'm happy.

Today was just one of those days where I really stopped and starting missing the people back in Pierce county who aren't with me here.

Mostly Dad.

Dad is by far the most influential man in my life. I can't begin to put it into words without posting the letter I wrote to him on the day I graduated college. He is in every way my super hero and my strength. I look up to him and I admire him and I'm so close to him.  Moving back to whatcom county was harder than I thought in respect to how much I miss my dad and how much I don't get to see him now.  He's not far.. but it's not the same when we live in different cities.

I am also completely heartsick for my boy, Buster. His quirky personality and annoying mischievous ways. Love him. And my brother Nick.. He moves down to Puyallup and then I move up to Ferndale. How does that even happen?! I'm just so happy that he and I can remain so close regardless of our location. He is amazing.

To delve even deeper... I am eally missing the rugby team. When the season starts up again in September, I'll be able to get involved again. It's a huge part of my heart and my life now and when it's not there it's like there's a void. I'm missing PW and his ridiculous jokes, profanity, and mannerisms. That punk, I swear. I could come up with countless reasons why I'm thankful for his friendship. He's been there for me through the good the bad and the ugly. And he's rejoiced with me in my successes. That never faltered even after I moved. Seriously love that guy!

But... change is good. Especially this change. There is a peace, a serenity, and a joy I have in my life now. A contentment that only came to my soul when I stopped searching and returned back to the place where I truly am home. Ferndale. The country. Away from the city and away from the places I don't belong.

I'm on cloud nine when I think about it. That I'm back here where my journey originally began. Here I am, building stronger relationships with my family. Spending time with people who stuck by me through all walks of life... Colby.. Friends for years now all living in the same county. For YEARS of me being gone, some years of me being absolutely ridiculous... or as Colby likes to say.. with my "head up my ass"... this wonderful person never let me go, never let me forget who I am, and never stopped being there for me and loving me for who I am. When everyone else walked out, he walked in and never left. And I am ecstatic to be able to see him and his family now anytime I want! I am feeling quite selfish for their time and I'm loving it.

So while I do miss my Dad, my brother, my dog, and friends like Paul... I am happy where I am. And at the end of the day.. now living with Colby, Kim, and Daniel.. I truly can say that there is no time for loneliness in this house. We are quite the family unit if I do say so myself.

It's a bittersweet evening... mostly sweet with some blessings.  And I am more than okay with that.

HGM