To cry from happy.

There is this beauty that reveals itself when everything falls together how it always should have. When efforts are not given in vain. When desires line up with result and my world is perfectly aligned with the deepest desires of my heart.  It's a beauty I don't just see but also can feel.  And I feel it with such a strength, such a passion and a significance that I get tears. 

I guess this is what it feels like to cry from being so happy.

For so long I wandered and ran searching for what I have now. For the kind of peace, love, and joy that I experience on a daily basis. Almost feeling like I'm pushing against some invisible current or barrier that was stopping me. In fact I know what some of this barriers were and knowing I was able to crush them under my feet and become different and better is a feeling like no other. 

Now here I am. Amidst pain, struggle, and trials of life, I have this peace, love, and joy that surpasses all other difficulties. I'm writing, I'm learning, I'm loving, I'm playing music, I'm working, I'm growing, and I'm happy.

To me that is true happiness. What was missing is no longer missing. 

I could make a list of so many things that I have in this life that are no longer missing and that have been for so long. 

A home. A secure job. My joy of following dreams and goals I've always had in my heart. An inner peace and understanding and identity that is stronger than ever. A love that is going where it deserves to go, to someone who deserves every aspect of it because he is worthy of this love.

To say life is good wouldn't cut it, but... Life is so, so good.